Have you heard the story about the scorpion and the frog? The other day someone told me that story and how they couldn't change who they were, and my opinion is that story is half right.
"A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion why, the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so." - Wikipedia
My take: your nature is how you want it to be. Change occurs when you CONSCIOUSLY work, and keep working on it.
The scorpion and the frog story is a simply illustrates that one cannot change their personality, traits or nature; a story which on deeper thought is untrue when you use it as an analogy to the thinking person.
If you want to change an aspect of yourself, you have to firstly be aware of what you want to change. I don't mean what or how you want to be, but also what has caused you to be like that. Ask yourself that hard question; a lot of people give up when they have to genuinely question themselves, but you're better than that, right? In a typical session with me, one of the first questions I ask is about my clients' beliefs and environment when they were growing up to better understand what their current needs, wants and hurdles are as they're specifically unique to each of them.
Then you have to find out what the steps are to be what or who you want to be. And you have to work on it, not just a once off thing or doing it for a couple of weeks, but actually work on it every single day/hour/time you have. Research has shown that it takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit as simple as drinking water after a meal, so allow a great deal more time for complex changes to change yourself or outlook. For my clients, I give them a specifically tailored 12 week program with homework tasks which they should be doing everyday, with each task building up on the previous one.
So do you want to change a negative aspect of yourself to something more fulfilling and reciprocal? Or are you resigned or too afraid to discover what you really could be?
Take that leap and improve your life. Go on; don't be that scorpion in life.
Ivan Chew - IYL
Yes. And. Now.